Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To protect its egg from South Africans.
*Relax. This is an opinion piece.
We have surpassed the banana bread pandemic. Now we are moving on to individual ingredients.
There is currently something circulating in South Africa that can be classified as a partial deconstructed banana bread chased down with a shot of what-the-hell-are-you-all-doing.
South Africans’ boredom has gotten the best of them. Someone, somewhere started with the Coronavirus Challenge/Lockdown Challenge/COVID19 Challenge.
And it goes something like this.
Step 1: Swallow one raw egg.
(If you don’t gag and spit it out all over your phone screen, you continue to the next step.)
Step 2: Swallow a scoop of sugar.
Step 3: Chase it down with a shot of alcohol.
And then you nominate your friends to do the same within 24 hours.
Come again? Raw egg, sugar, shooter what now?
This challenge borders on similar levels of ridiculousness than the “neknomination” craze from 2014. Just with less alcohol. And possibly no chances of death (if you ignore Salmonella). At least the “neknomnation” had a clear (albeit lethal) goal: it should be daring, outlandish and get you drunk.
But this South African version of the Coronavirus Challenge is 100% pointless. Yes, at least the challenge does not involve licking a public bathroom’s toilet seat like what happened in TikTok challenges all over the US. But come on.
Is no one going to question the origin of this raw-egg-sugar-alcohol challenge? Is no one asking why people are doing it? Is it just a matter of spit or swallow?
Is this the reaction after Government took our toys away for lockdown?
Or are South Africans still on a sugar rush from eating too many chocolate eggs over Easter weekend? Are we possessed by the Easter bunny and have been summoned by a bunch of carrots?
Nee man mense.
How about we challenge people to do a shout out to an essential worker? It is boring, I know, there is no chance of barfing yellow sunshine goo all over yourself – aggenee – but we all know someone. Be it a farmer, a nurse, doctor, cashier, delivery person or a policeman.
How about we challenge each other to support a business?
How about we challenge each other to rather donate an egg instead?
And geez, I can’t believe I am going to say this but, how about we challenge each other to rather bake those damn banana breads?
But raw eggs… no. Let’s not be sheep.
Also, just to add some more egg-citing egg-tertainment to this challenge (and every corny overused egg-cliche there is), here is an excerpt from a Farmer’s Weekly article, “Salmonella can cause a serious and sometimes fatal infection in anyone with a weakened immune system, in young children and in frail or elderly people. Healthy people infected with salmonella often experience fever, diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting and abdominal pain within 12 to 72 hours after eating contaminated product.
So how about we keep ourselves busy with something a tiny bit more constructive, uplifting or maybe you just want to read the article “How to avoid a Salmonella outbreak” and just stop with this raw-egg-sugar-shooter-kak.
Your bacon is feeling lonely without its breakfast buddy.