An ILLEGAL Milk Tart

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When you work in South Korea as an English teacher it is illegal to do any other work. It says so in your contract, in English and in Korean.

Have I ever told you about the time I lived in South Korea, made milk tart and sold it to South Africans and other foreigners who converted to milk-tart-ism? And that’s not all. I also baked cakes, made date balls, lamingtons, peppermint crisp tart, chocolate chip cookies and koeksisters.

Illegally.

Oops. Sorry South Korea.

Everything I made and sold while being in Korea I made from the first recipe I could find on the internet (except for the cake which is a recipe my mother chopped and changed over the years until it reached perfection). But for the rest I just closed my eyes, Googled and hoped for the best. I especially hoped for the best when it came to the time-consuming koeksisters (if you ever wonder why these sweet doughnut-like twisty and crunchy things are expensive, just try to make it yourself and you’ll immediately hand over the oven mitts and fork out the cash instead).

The peppermint crisp tart was always a best-seller and this South African dessert quickly turned international as its ingredients originated from three different countries; the mint chocolate was American (and way too expensive), the caramel was a can of cooked condensed milk from Indonesia, the biscuits also came from Indonesia and the cream was made in South Korea.

But the whole idea of selling baked goods to South Africans deprived of homey flavours started with the milk tart.

I found a recipe, made the crust, added the filling and voilà, an easy peasy no-bake milk tart was born. Later on I stopped making the crust myself and instead used the same Indonesian biscuits I used for peppermint crisp tart.

If you don’t know what milk tart is just imagine something sweet and creamy, that tastes a bit like custard but with cinnamon sprinkled on top.

But with that said, it is not for everyone; the first and last time my friend from the States ate a milk tart she added chocolate mouse on top to give it extra flavour (and while this happened another South African friend consumed the tart, fork, plate and everything that came with it, in one gulp. Have a look at her video and see how she has adjusted the recipe).

It’s been an eternity since I made a milk tart, but it’s still one of the easiest recipes to make and to remember. 

So in honour of National Milk Tart Day (because South Africans will create a day of remembrance for anything), here is the no-bake easy peasy illegal milk tart recipe. If it tastes bad, don’t blame me. Anything remotely linked to South Africa tastes good when you live in a foreign country.

Illegal Milk Tart Recipe

For the crust

You’ll need:

1 pack of coconut biscuits.

Do this:

Get coconut biscuits (fake or real Tennis Biscuits), give it a quick dip in milk and place it in your oven dish or tart plate thing.

For the filling

You’ll need: 

700ml milk
1 tablespoon butter
200ml sugar 
2 eggs
2 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons corn flour
10ml vanilla essence 

Do this:

Mix the sugar, eggs, flour, corn flour and vanilla essence together in a bowl.

On the stove, bring the milk and butter to boil at a low temperature.

When the milk and butter mixture is boiling, add about a cup of your milk mixture to the other bowl with the sugar, egg, flour and vanilla. 

Give it a stir and then throw the contents of the bowl back into the pot on the stove (keep the heat low).

Stir.

Stir some more.

Stir.

Is your arm tired yet?

Good. 

The filling will get thicker. Continue to stir to prevent lumps and stop when the milk tart filling is thick enough (about 10 to 15 minutes).

Throw the contents of the pot into your oven dish with biscuits, wait for it to cool down, gooi some cinnamon on top and keep it in the fridge.

Congratulations, you just made an illegal milk tart.

If you know how to make pancakes, add some of the milk tart filling to your pancake, roll it up and enjoy.

And that concludes the only recipe you’ll ever find on Going Somewhere Slowly.

Side note: While I’m all for obeying the law, I think if I ever got kicked out of South Korea for having a mini baking business on the side, it would have been worth it if the head line read: “South African deported for making milk tart”.

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